October 12, 2007

If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I'm about to do today?

Day in review: Didn't go to xcountry practice (legs are cramping); napped for six hours this afternoon; woke up feeling fresh as ever and got all my stuff done pretty efficiently =); mom made falafels for dinner!

Music: Starting to gain an appreciate for some old-school Jay-Z

In Steve Jobs' commencement address at Stanford in 2005, he said the following:

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

I read this speech a couple of days ago, and I think it justifies what I want to do in the blog from now on.

I've screwed a lot of my relationships up in the last few years, usually by being an asshole and making fun of somebody or doing something stupid. I'm really bad with confrontation because my ego won't let me take the blame for something, so I'm never really good with approaching a person and telling them that I'm sorry for being a jerk. Sooo, I thought I'd start apologizing for the screwups I didn't get to apologize for earlier in the day (I don't think I'll use names, but the people I've affected will know the apologies are directed towards them). I just hate having the weight of something negative on me. The way I look at it, this will let me start each day on a blank tablet, without concern for the previous one.

Not to sound crazy or anything, but come to think of it, something could happen to any of us at any given moment, so if I were to get into an accident of sorts, I wouldn't want to leave a relationship on bad terms. So obviously, the ideal situation would be to never get into fights/arguments, but that's unrealistic. The next best option is to resolve disputes as soon as possible.

Yeah, I don't really know where I was going with that, BUT I think you'd get the point by now; I just couldn't find any way to wrap up this post. I'm off to bed now. Much love.


oknataLi said...

aww ankit
that's really mature and amaazing of you. reallyy.